How to Encourage Persistence in Your Child

Hang in there! Creative persistence pays off big

How to support, but not force your child’s persistence

Helping your child learn how to set goals

Without a doubt, persistence can pay off – and so the question is how to effectively develop this trait in your child.

To teach persistence, it’s useful to first find ways in which your child is already setting goals, perhaps by saving money to buy the desired game. Then, reverse engineer the process with your child so that the individual steps behind the process become clearer to him or her, and also emphasize how good it feels to accomplish a goal. Then find ways to replicate the process, choosing small goals at first.

Experts suggest you allow your child to actually choose the goals and then you can help him or her to create a plan. That’s because your child is likely to work harder if he or she wants to achieve a particular goal. That said, listen for opportunities to help your child to achieve goals of interest to you, as well. For example, if your child expresses a wish to do well in the science fair, this is an excellent opportunity to work with him or her to list specific action steps and a practical timetable.

Model persistence, as well, sharing some of your own goals and then showing your child how you’re achieving them. Applaud your child’s success and also provide reality checks, as children may want to achieve a goal more quickly than is possible.

Follow and practice these strategies to encourage your child’s persistence:

Be supportive of your child’s efforts. “Success” doesn’t always depend on outcomes or a finished product. Success may be a willingness to try and put forth the best effort. Acknowledge your child’s effort and hard work no matter the amount of time put into it.

Allow brain breaks. If your child is struggling, allow him or her to take a break and try again later. They may just need a breather or an opportunity to talk to you about their concerns or feelings.

Involve your child in the decision-making. Allow your child to have a say in making decisions about trying new activities.

Encourage goals, both big and small. Make sure the goals aren’t too easy or too hard. When your child completes a goal (even a small one), make sure to acknowledge it. Also, if a goal is too difficult or impossible to achieve, it may be setting them up for feelings of failure.

Don’t be forceful. Make trying new things fun, accessible, and safe. If your child tries something new, even if they quit, acknowledge that he or she tried.

PERSISTENCE – 2019 Powerful Motivational Video

On the same page, think about how you define quitting. If we view quitting as being lazy or unmotivated, it may actually encourage your child to quit more often. If we think of quitting as standing up for themselves, and being determined and focused, it will encourage them to persist and keep trying.

Quitting is a part of learning and healthy child development. It allows your child to try new, exciting and frightening things they may not normally try. If he or she does want to quit an activity, try to determine the underlying cause and the feelings behind it. Overall, as a parent, the best thing you can do is be understanding and supportive.

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