The Realities of Parenting: Understanding Life’s Reset Button
One of the hardest truths of parenting to grasp—and one of the hardest to understand before you have kids—is just how drastically your life changes the moment your child enters the world. No matter how supportive your co-parent is, no matter how dedicated you are to keeping your career and hobbies, and no matter how many resources you have, it feels like the entire world shifts, and nothing will ever be the same again.
TikToker Andrew (@parental_with_me) shared some of the best parenting advice he’s ever received. Interestingly, it wasn’t conveyed through words but rather through a simple yet powerful diagram. By drawing a few circles, Andrew was able to illustrate what it feels like to have a child and how that feeling evolves as you add more kids to the mix.
The Overlapping Circles of Expectation
First, Andrew draws a series of overlapping circles.
“Here’s what I thought would happen when I started to have kids. As I’m adding kids, my life changes, but a lot remains the same,” he says, shading in the overlapping parts of the circles. This diagram represents the common expectation: that there will be a significant overlap between the different stages of life, maintaining much of the old while integrating the new.
The Reality: Disconnected Circles
However, Andrew explains that this is not what most parents experience. He then draws a new diagram, this time with circles that don’t touch.
“So the advice I got was: don’t think of it like that,” he explains. “As you have kids, you basically reset your life. You can’t really carry over much from the world that you existed in into this new world. They will feel familiar, but it will be so different.”
The New World of Parenting
This realization is both profound and challenging. Before having children, it’s easy to imagine that you can seamlessly integrate them into your existing life. The reality, however, is that many aspects of life change fundamentally.
“Bedtime is different. Getting the kids out the door is different. Going to a restaurant is different. Travel is different,” Andrew lists. “So many things that are similar just aren’t the same anymore.”
Embracing the Change
Why share this somewhat sobering fact with his viewers? Andrew believes that understanding this reality makes it easier to navigate the significant changes that come with parenting.
“The more that you have this mentality of, ‘I’m in this new world and I can’t take much with me from my old world, but I’m really eager to learn and figure it out,’ the happier I think you’re going to be,” he shares. “It really helped me shift my mentality.”
Advice for Future Parents
In the comments, viewers echoed Andrew’s sentiments, though one person cautioned that this information might be overwhelming for first-time parents-to-be.
“Do NOT say this to a pregnant first-time mother,” they wrote. “She’s gonna need a little bit of her old self.”
Andrew agreed, acknowledging that it sounds daunting to hear that almost everything from your old life will change with the arrival of a baby.
The Joy Amid the Changes
If you think Andrew is being overly dramatic or that he doesn’t enjoy having kids, think again. He regularly posts heartwarming videos highlighting the joys and rewards of parenting. For him, the “life reset” after each child is not just manageable but deeply fulfilling.
After All
Parenting is a journey into the unknown, and while it brings about profound changes, it also offers unique joys and growth. Understanding that your life will undergo a fundamental reset can help you better prepare for and embrace the new world of parenting. And as Andrew’s experience shows, this mindset can make the transition smoother and more rewarding. So, to all the parents and parents-to-be out there, welcome to your new world—it’s different, challenging, and absolutely worth it.
Sources:
- https://www.tiktok.com/@parental_with_me/video/7333229098665266474?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
- https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/diagram-about-having-kids-tiktok
- https://www.yourtango.com/entertainment/sentimental-dad-shares-unsung-benefit-playing-his-son
- https://chatgpt.com/
- https://readloud.net/
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